Friday, January 23, 2004
Well, I am sitting in my room wondering what happened to me as a child to make me so freaking screwed up. No, really. I mean, I had the PERFECT childhood...I had the best parents in the entire world (fight me for it, I promise I win) my brothers were decent at times :) (j/k...they are incredible as well) and I was never lacking anything I wanted/needed. Iwent to a great school and got a good education, was instilled with good morals, and had great friends. Now, as I am living on my own and trying to build my own life all those things seem to be slipping away...except for the part of being in a great school...that is strengthening!!! But, while looking back in my childhood to figure out why in the world it is so hard for me to trust people and forgive them when they let me down, I have decided...maybe my childhood was too perfect. No, really...I mean, I had my time and now I need to live on the rough side for a while. Plus, I have expectations...I expect everyone to be perfect and I hold everyone on such a high pedistal that when they make mistakes (as all people do) I am so broken by it...I dont know how to move past it. So, I have come to the conclusion that you can not truly trust anyone...everyone is going to disappint you. If you dont put any trust or hope into anyone, then you wont ever be disappointed, you wont be hurt, therefore you have control all the time. (spoken by a true contol freak). That is my revelation of the day.
On a lighter (but not too much happier) note, classes have started. 16 hours starting at 9:10 daily...whew, that'll take it out of you! I do like all of my classes this semester which is good, it is just going to be tough to keep up with all of them. Having french every day gives me LOTS of reading and homework to do. Good thing I already know most of the stuff we are learning...
So, this girl from work asked me to switch shifts with her. I would have gladly done it if it was anyone else, but I just dont like this girl...anyway, she called me to see if I could do it and I said no. Then she said "ok, talk to you later" and as she was hanging up i heard her in the background talking to her roommate saying "I knew I didnt like that girl" HA Good luck ever getting anything from me again BIA!!!
If anyone has any exciting plans for saturday night lemme know...maybe we should have a gettogether in melrose 1524!!! :) give me a call! 832-289-7253. I am off to studying (at 10:45 on friday...cool stuff huh) adios!
On a lighter (but not too much happier) note, classes have started. 16 hours starting at 9:10 daily...whew, that'll take it out of you! I do like all of my classes this semester which is good, it is just going to be tough to keep up with all of them. Having french every day gives me LOTS of reading and homework to do. Good thing I already know most of the stuff we are learning...
So, this girl from work asked me to switch shifts with her. I would have gladly done it if it was anyone else, but I just dont like this girl...anyway, she called me to see if I could do it and I said no. Then she said "ok, talk to you later" and as she was hanging up i heard her in the background talking to her roommate saying "I knew I didnt like that girl" HA Good luck ever getting anything from me again BIA!!!
If anyone has any exciting plans for saturday night lemme know...maybe we should have a gettogether in melrose 1524!!! :) give me a call! 832-289-7253. I am off to studying (at 10:45 on friday...cool stuff huh) adios!
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