Wednesday, January 07, 2004
I dont know how to save these journals without posting them, so please dont read this unless you plan on not mentioning it to me or anyone else...
I am having the crappiest day I have had in a while and it really sucks to be alone. I realized I made a mistake by working at Gap and not Rowan, and that long-term business is just an excuse triyng to justify my choice. I thought i was grown up enough to handle living alone so I wanted to. I am grown up enough, but I didnt realize how lonely it would get. Cleaning, working, and cooking is not all it takes to live alone...I didnt know that. Thanks...now I learned my lesson. So, could my life as I liked it PLEASE come back now?
Let it be known I may have just ruined the best thing in my life right now. Considering my grades last semester and my lack of hours at work, neither of those things are the best things that are going on in my life. So, in case you are wondering, I believe I may have just lsot myself a boyfriend. Way to be controlling, selfish, and demanding Amanda...way to go. Not quite sure if I lost him, but I know if I was him I would have left me a long time ago. Nice to know that the person I thought I may want to spend the restof my life with may want to break up with me...leaves a nice uneasiness in my stomach which will not leave until we talk again...who knows when that will be. I royally screwed up this one, as most things these days.
I am having the crappiest day I have had in a while and it really sucks to be alone. I realized I made a mistake by working at Gap and not Rowan, and that long-term business is just an excuse triyng to justify my choice. I thought i was grown up enough to handle living alone so I wanted to. I am grown up enough, but I didnt realize how lonely it would get. Cleaning, working, and cooking is not all it takes to live alone...I didnt know that. Thanks...now I learned my lesson. So, could my life as I liked it PLEASE come back now?
Let it be known I may have just ruined the best thing in my life right now. Considering my grades last semester and my lack of hours at work, neither of those things are the best things that are going on in my life. So, in case you are wondering, I believe I may have just lsot myself a boyfriend. Way to be controlling, selfish, and demanding Amanda...way to go. Not quite sure if I lost him, but I know if I was him I would have left me a long time ago. Nice to know that the person I thought I may want to spend the restof my life with may want to break up with me...leaves a nice uneasiness in my stomach which will not leave until we talk again...who knows when that will be. I royally screwed up this one, as most things these days.
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